In a heartbeat.......

Life can change for ever.              

On the 19th March 2004, my daughter gave birth do a lovely little girl - Kira Louise. I was so excited. I had other grandchildren of course and they are an unending delight to me. But they are the children of my son’s, this was the first child of my daughter, my youngest child. She was also at the time, the only grandchild that was local to me. The others live hundreds of miles away.

That weekend was also Mothering Sunday, so I with delight and excitement, I bought my daughter her first Mothers Day card and a little present from her daughter.

Eight years ago today, in the early hours of the morning, my daughter came into my bedroom crying for help “my baby’s not breathing” she said. I snapped out of my sleep and tried to resuscitate the baby. The rest of that night is a blur of panic, hope and then numbness and disbelief. The hospital could not revive her.

This was “cot death” visiting my family and leaving us bereft and looking for answers that cannot be fully answered.

The post mortem did not find any cause for her just stopping breathing. The subsequent inquest recorded a sudden unexplained death. This leaves so much unresolved grief, no one to blame, no one to explain how it could have happened. What do you do with those questions? What do you do with the natural anger and despair that follows?

This event has changed me, my daughter and the rest of my family in ways that could never have been envisaged. My daughter, as you can imagine sunk into depths that were so deep I was afraid I was going to lose her as well. Even now, all this time later, I can feel Kira snuggle up to me little nibbles into my neck as I gave her a good night cuddle, not knowing that this would be the last time I would have that delightful pleasure.

It was after this that I found the organisation The Foundation for the Study of Infant Death (FSID). They have been a source of help, comfort and inspiration to me and my family.  They have, over the last 40 years worked tirelessly, not only supporting the bereaved, but working with professionals to promote healthy and safe environments for babies. They also fund research into the factors and causes of Sudden Infant Death.  The incidence of “cot death” has been reduced by an incredible 65% over the past 20 years. An estimated 19,000 babies lives have been saved. Look at those figures again. Amazing isn’t it?

However, there are still 300 families every year who wake up to a day without their baby. 300 families every year whose lives change for ever in a (stopped) heartbeat.

Since that awful day 8 years ago, I have become involved in supporting the charity, both in volunteering, finding out more about the phenomena and raising money to help them with funding research, educating families and professionals as well as supporting the bereaved. This grief does not abate. I have met mothers who lost a child to cot death up to 40 years ago, they cry and show the pain of this even today.

This does not mean that we, the bereaved live in sadness and despair. Most try to do something to help to prevent others experiencing such devastation.

What can you do?

Well, in around 3 weeks time, I’m going to attempt my 7th Marathon. A little matter of a jog around London. You can help that effort by sponsoring me, any amount will do it, it doesn’t have to be large amounts, small ones build up. Knowing you care, knowing that my effort will go someway toward preventing another family being left wondering why....................


Please click on the link on the right side of this page to take you to my Justgiving page.

Thank you so much

xxxx

well that’s that then!

Janathon is over for another year! I can’t say I’m sorry, I’m tired and it’s bliddy cold out there at 6:30AM! I missed two days of running (but did do a spin class on those days). One because my leg was threatening to develop from a bit sore to a full blown injury, and one because, quite frankly I was a bit busy.

I’m grateful to Janathon though, it gets me out there, even for a short time. Something is better than nothing, and I didn’t want to be not logging at least even the shortest run. I’ve done more miles this month than I’ve ever done in a month before! 133 miles (give or take a half mile or so). Although I’m a little tired I’m also pleased and proud of myself and grateful to the organisers of Janathon and the RW cousin the January mileage challenge.

I’ll be cutting back on the days that I run, but putting in some quality for the next month now, then it’ll be consolidating that for the marathon. I do so want this time to be a rather better experience than the last time!

I shall be popping in to update the training experience, but not every day.

Watch this space :0)

Do something every day that scares you!

Wow, what a wet one this morning! I ventured out knowing it was raining and knowing I would get wet. But how wet! It was dark (of course) and as careful as I was to navigate around the puddles, one ankle deep one was hiding in the shadows and caught me out a beaut! Then a lorry driver thought it would be good sport to drive fast through a huuuuuuge puddle and shower me with a couple of gallons of the stuff. Ok, maybe he didn’t do it deliberately, but, it certainly felt like it. To be honest, I didn’t mind, I knew I would be home and in a hot shower in less than an hour. There are many who don’t have that luxury, those street dwellers who have to just take what shelter they can get and put up with it.

To  the subject of this post. I had that saying along with something wise about going outside the comfort zone sent to me on facebook. It’s a useful thing to think about, and I have resolved to try this, maybe not every day, but at least once a week.

Now, running in the rain doesn’t scare me, running in the dark doesn’t scare me (I tend to avoid lonely places, but the kind of people who may try to do me harm are still tucked up at 6AM right?). What scares me? Bliddy great hills! Long steep ones particularly. On my usual morning route is a hill that I tend to skirt around. It’s one of those “omygodImgonnadie” hills. According to my Garmin, it rises nearly 250 ft in less than a mile. In order to avoid this hill and make up my mileage, I tend to loop around a couple of streets - possibly to the amusement of the residents. Today, I looked up at that hill and remembered that resolve of mine and set off. I may have walked lots of it, but less than I had anticipated, and guess what! I didn’t die :)

I got home after 6.25 miles feeling right proud of myself, that’s what happens when you face your fears and realise that the fear was only of fear itself to paraphrase somebody or other! I was wetter than the wettest of wet things, but glowing with a real sense of achievement. I may well tackle that one again this week - or I may think of something else that scares me and tackle that. Not spiders, they don’t scare me - they actually TERRIFY  me. There is only so much a girl can do after all :)

Lazy Sunday

For a change it has been rather a quiet lazy day, although I have achieved a fair bit.

I did my “long” run yesterday, no niggles, no pain. The RICEing and the new shoes seems to have done the  trick, and only one day of actual running missed, even then a good hard spin session made up for it.
My schedule says a step back week, so a step back week it certainly was. 7 miles said my list, but 8 I did. Partly because I’m a nosey soandso. I heard there was a fire that stopped the traffic on the dual carriageway near where I live, so I did a “drive by” so to speak. Sadly, an old chapel has been completely destroyed. It was empty and neglected, but even so, a piece of history gone. It was quite a big fire as well (there is rumour of arson), so it stopped the traffic on the main carriageway into the City from West Wales. Chaos ensued for those on wheels, while I smugly trotted along. It was windy but when out of the wind an ideal running day. Fresh and sunny, cool but not cold!

Today was an early dog walk with my friend, again windy (very) so a pleasant stroll through the sheltered woods. Then home and shopping for food for lunch, while I was in the shop the veg looked very tempting so I piled up with butternut squash, leeks, carrots and other stuff. I popped out for a quick 3 miles - hubby is not well again and he had gone back to bed.
An afternoon of making pots of soup, as well as lunch while watching telly then getting on with my jewellery making.

All in all, a day of relaxing domestic goddessery with some fresh air and exercise and a dollop of creativity.

Over halfway

I know I’ve not blogged for a couple of days, but it’s a bit busy around here at the moment. Besides, I’ve not actually run for a couple of days. I’ve spinned and gymed, but my lower left leg has been objecting strongly to all this training! I did get some spanking new shoes yesterday though (thanksWiggle), so I went to the gym this morning and did what I call my maintenance while injured session. Can you tell I’ve been here before? Yes, more times than I care to remember!
I tend to, when embarking on a project go at it hammer and tongs so to speak. This happens no matter what the project is, whether work related, academia or hobby. My running had been going well and my weekly mileage was higher than it had ever been! Then - wham! it started with a background niggle and worked it’s way up to pain even when walking!
I think I probably strained the ankle muscle a little when my foot got stuck in the cleat on the spin bike on Friday. I took no notice. After my 14.5 mile run on Saturday the niggle started, a short 3 miler on Sunday made it worse. Monday spin and a short 15 minutes on the dreadmill and the background niggle was still there. I iced and massaged it and put some Wiggle bought Nature’s Kiss cream on it, and it was pain free on getting up on Tuesday. “I’ll pop out and do a short loop” thought I, but, it was a lovely morning for running, really lovely. After nearly 6 miles. I hobbled in to the house and slapped more ice on the offending leg!
No run yesterday, more ice and massage. Today, as I said, a maintenance session at the gym, which involves 20 minutes on the cross trainer, 20 slow and easy minutes on the dreadmill and 20 minutes on the bike. then lots of core work and lots and lots of stretches.

So far, so good, no pain, but I think I’ll do the icing thing again and the magic cream to be sure. Tomorrow is spin again, so I may do the dreadmill again, or I may even be sensible and leave after spin and stretch. I really want this leg to recover asap so I can get on with the VLM training, but as it’s still the middle of January, my head is trying to convince me that I have plenty of time!

Right, where’s that back of frozen fruits of the forest (no peas available)........

niggling achilles - oops!

Yesterday I did my short and slow recovery run, but I now have an achilles that is not happy, not happy at all.

I did my spin class this morning as usual and a 15 minute run on the dreadmill. This past week, for whatever reason, I can feel that I have gone up a notch in my fitness. This was reflected in my spin class and then on the dreadmill. I was working well, but my heart rate stayed within a good working level. I didn’t over push it, but was going heavier on the bike and faster on the dreadmill than I have done previously. “Faster” is all relative you understand, but my 15 minutes put me a tiny bit further than the last time I did 15 minutes with a lower heart rate.

That’s the good news, the not so good news is that my lower calf/achilles is niggling away, I’ve had the frozen forest fruits on it (didn’t have any peas) and have a support on it. My heart is telling me that I should try a run in the morning as per schedule, my head is saying “have a day off for goodness sake!”.

I’ll see how it is in the morning.............

Fundraising and weekend plodding

I’ve spent much of this morning sorting out my fundraising page. I’ve added a widget here so you can see for yourself what my project is. I have lots to thank FSID for, training for a marathon and raising much needed funds (they get no Government help at all), will never be enough to demonstrate what I owe them.
I’m not very good at asking for money, so any suggestions would be helpful. I don’t get a great deal of time but I did think that I would make some jewellery and cards and other things to raffle off in work. There are only 20 or so of us in my place and they have been so kind and generous over the years I don’t want to pressure them too much, after all some of my colleagues themselves do various charity events.

But, on to running matters. I’’m not absolutely sure what has happened this weekend, I’ve been feeling a bit tired and wishing this Janathon would soon be over. However, yesterday in the RPM class, I felt strong and fit and went for it. Pete, the instructor announced that the ‘pocket rocket’ is back!! In respect for Janathon, I then went for a short slow trot after work through the Marina and along the seafront. Again, once I was in the rhythm I felt strong and fit and was marginally faster than I had intended, or even thought I would be capable of.

Today, I faffed and fiddled, but eventually got out of the door into a very cold and frosty January morning. The thought of 14 miles as per schedule was daunting indeed. Again, I travelled faster than I should have according to the schedule, but strong and fit (apart from some tummy trouble - but that settled around halfway). My last couple of miles were quite slow, but it’s a long drag uphill on tired legs.

Now that I’m fed and bathed, I’m feeling a little more human and quite optimistic that this London trip is going to be such a blast! I’m going with some dear friends (who will all be in the pub before me - but that’s ok, they can pay), and my training (touch wood and turn around three times) is going better than it ever has.

Double Trouble

I know I didn’t post yesterday, I ran out of time (again). Not a lot of running though, a spin class and 15 min on the dreadmill is becoming the Wednesday routine now.

Today is the day I plan to ‘double up’. That is, run morning and evening. This Janathon business may be getting to me a bit because I’m feeling somewhat tired at times. Nevertheless. just under 5 and a half miles this morning went well, better than Tuesday, it was dry and the street lights were on, so somewhat faster and less cautious.

I forgot to take my Garmin to work with me, I took the rest of my kit and yes, I know I can run without it, but even so, this month I want to log my mileage and track my progress (or otherwise). So I abandoned the idea of a leisurely meander along the flat seafront and came home. No matter which direction I take when I go out of my house there is a hill, I either start or finish up hill with lots of ‘undulations’ in between. So a very slow rather heavy legged just over 3 miles for me.

12 days in and I’m halfway to my target of 100 miles for the month, fingers crossed that this stretch continues.

Slow and cautious

I like to run before work. It means that it’s a task that’s done and usually sets me up for the day. Winter runs are variable, they can be cold, wet, both and are certainly dark! The spring and autumn are the best times in many ways because I can watch the sunrise while I’m out which is always uplifting, even if the weather isn’t!

This morning I set out at 6:30, it was dark and wet, but unseasonably mild. This meant that my glasses were both splattered with rain AND steamed up. I have a cap that I wear to keep the worst of the rain off, but this morning, I had to take it (and my gloves) off because I was too warm! This is January, what a contrast to this time last year when the snow and ice were on the roads and pavements for weeks.

Today was not really any safer than 12 months ago though. The street lighting here is not good. The council in their wisdom thought that it was wise to turn all street lighting off on places where there are no houses and in some places where there are. I think also that this morning there may have been some faulty lighting, because it was certainly darker than usual on my regular early morning route.

In 2007 I fell in a badly light road where the council in their wisdom had been resurfacing and had left part of it unsurfaced. The resulting fracture lost me my Rome Marathon bid for that year!

This makes me rather more cautious when I can’t quite see where I’m going, so a rather slower 5.25 miles for me today. I finished feeling good and ready to face the day though.

My intention was to do a ‘doubler’ today, I try to do this on one day a week, it builds the mileage and keeps my metabolism up. However, I’m rather tired and still achey from yesterdays body pump class, so I took the sensible decision to rest. Thursday will now be my ‘doubler’ - you heard it here first folks.

Just a quickie

I’m not dwelling on this today.

Monday is a spin class day, usually I would do a short trot on the treadmill afterward, but an early dental appointment meant I was pushed for time.

I did go just before body pump though, it was hot and humid in the gym, so I didn’t do so well (or maybe it was because it was the end of the day rather than the beginning). Still 1.86 sort of speed intervals done.

Tomorrow, I’ll be out early before work. I’ve been relieved of babysitting, so I may even get a small one in after work.

Day of Rest (nearly)

When I was growing up, Sunday (or the Sabbath to Christian folk) was seen as a day of rest. Shops were closed, people generally went to church/sunday school and ate a Roast dinner followed by snoozing in front of a (usually) corny film. At least the adults did, we were sent out to play out of the way, but told to play quietly because it was a Sunday.

Times have changed - and how. Many shops are open as are leisure facilities. People who are lucky enough to have a job that gives them the weekend off use the time for leisure pursuits, be it sporty kind, lazing the day in front of the telly with the newspaper, or shopping (don’t see the leisure in that last myself!). For many, the traditional Sunday Roast has given way to Pizza or (shudder) a McDonalds Big Meal!

My day started early with an 8AM meet up with my friend and a walk along the beach and around the cliff tops with my two muppets. Even at that hour there were runners and dog walkers around. By now, I suspect that there are many more. So, just under 4 miles walked at a nice slow chatty pace. I never tire of the coastline around here, no matter what the weather or the time of year, it’s a pleasant and refreshing sight. Today the sea was calm and quiet, sometimes it’s boiling with rage and pounds at the rocks trying to beat them into submission - and of course ever so slowly and gradually, the sea is winning the battle as we know.

It’s not every week that I do a traditional Sunday Roast, but being one who doesn’t like to waste anything, I had frozen the left overs from Christmas. So it was a case of pulling most of the ingredients out of the freezer first thing. Then, as I needed to cook the roast pots and parsnips as well as the Yorkshire Pudding, I popped those in the oven and out for a short recovery run. 2.25 miles later and the potatoes were cooked, the rest of the ingredients were nuked while I was in the shower. Now, for the corny film ;0)

Runtastic!

When I got up this morning I felt sluggish and tired. I didn’t get up until 8am which is very late for me. So I decided to bin my long run today and do it tomorrow. For the sake of Janathon, I would do a couple of easy miles and then get domestic!
Then, after a couple of coffees I looked out the window and saw a sight for sore eyes - sunshine! I got the washing on the line, hoovered the bedroom then put on the running kit. Well, such a day could not be wasted could it. I was scheduled to run 12 miles so 12 miles it was to be. After all, it could be raining tomorrow.
What a fab day I had. I trotted off, then decided that I was just going to relax and enjoy being out doors in this ‘promise of spring’ day. I know it’s early January, but we do get these days occasionally and should make the most of them. I live in a rather hilly part of the world - unless I drive somewhere (and what’s the point of that?), hills have to be tackled. This does add to the interest of the run I suppose, although I’m not good on hills, I try hard, but do walk some of the gorblimey ones.  On a long run, I try to keep an eye on my heart rate also, not to work too hard and burn out too soon.
The route I chose takes me through some woodland for a couple of miles then out on to the seafront. It was lovely to see people out and about, people on bikes, people with dogs, and kiddies who (at long last), could get out on their new bikes and scooters. The atmosphere was happy and hopeful as it is on these days. It was well worth going, hard on the climb home, but well worth it. The actual run count was 12.25 miles - I have to confess running up and down my short street to bring the mileage to a nice neat figure.

Spinning hard

....and I don’t mean the plying wool kind!

Friday’s are spin days, or RPM as it’s known. The instructor decided that Friday is an ‘arder day, that’s not hard, nor harder, but one up from that :0). I must confess that I had to pour myself out of bed this morning, if it weren’t for my persistent bladder I may have stayed a little longer. However, up I got and made it to class by 6:30. By the end I was so glad I went, this is often the case, especially on these dark damp winter mornings that the temptation is to “just give this one a miss”. The memory of the endorphin rush does help me to get out of the bed and into my kit though.

I was “working” from home today, marking assignments. When I got home from the class I got stuck into the work as I was. One of the advantages of working from home is that you don’t have to adhere to the norms of dress if you don’t want. Just hope that no one knocks the door! So, in my smelly kit I produced words of wisdom and administered my opinions on their work. There was no one to mind my state of dress or whiffiness, only the two dogs  - aka Muppets (a collective noun for labradors). They make no judgments on my state of dress and love me all the same - well, I do feed them and provide shelter which is their benchmark for a comfortable life. If they could speak human, I suspect they would be puzzled as to why anyone would want more.

But I digress.

I finished my work and then showered quickly as I needed to deliver the said assignments back to the University. I want to try to run every day through January if I can, but won’t beat myself up if I can’t after all, as I’ve said previously, VLM is rather more essential. I did decide to go for a bit of a relaxed trot along the flat seafront though. The hills around here do become very taxing after a while and it’s nice to get out there and do something less strenuous. So, a touch over 2 miles banked and somewhat faster than I’ve been for quite sometime - maybe the hills are paying off.

Long run day tomorrow, I wonder what delights the weather gods have in store.....

A tale of two halves.

On one day a week I try to “run” twice. I’m told this is good for training and good for increased metabolism and fat burning. Time will tell.  I’ve been doing this for a while and found it surprisingly easy, easier than I thought it would be. I tend to do the evening run from work which is largely flat - just a bit of a hill in the beginning, then a long down and then around 4 miles just flat. This allows me to get into a rhythm with my plodding which seems to enable me to go further.

Today was a little different, I did my morning run from home as usual. This is undulating to say the least. I usually start on the down bit but then have to finish on a long couple of miles upupup. This morning the wind was in a humorous mood in that he decided that he would blow the hardest when I was on the steepest longest up bits. In fact at one point it was so hard my legs were moving in a running motion, but I was not actually moving forward at all - in fact I may even have gone backward a little way!

This evening, I did a shorter route, but in reverse to the morning route. This means a long down, but shorter, more frequent and sharper ups. I only did 3 and 3 quarter miles, but overall pace was so much slower than this morning.

Still, a total of 9 miles banked bringing January total to 17 miles, and 26 days to go!

Two for the price of One

I didn’t manage to get into blogger land yesterday, so today I will report in on both days.

Yesterday, the weather as anyone in the UK and most of Northern Europe knows, was pretty awful. When I got up I hummed and hah’d and faffed and fiddled. I went outside to test the strength of the wind and decided that the gym was the best option.
Usually, I would trot for around 5 miles in the mornings, however, the dreadmill is a completely different experience. Hot, sweaty, boring! So, to cope with the boring bit, I decided to warm up for a kilometre, then do a 2:1 speed session for 3 kilometres then a 1 kilometre cool down. This and listening to the Archers omnibus passed the time somewhat ( I wanted to slap Helen and her  brother for their selfish short sighted attitude). Then a good long stretching session.

So that was yesterday. I had a treatment session booked in with my sport therapist in the evening, so that was all I had time for yesterday.

Today was a spin class - I tend to get there early so I get an hour on the bike (15 minutes before the class starts). This is a challenging, but endorphin boosting session that sets me up for the day. Then, just 15 minutes on the dreadmill just to get some base running in.

Tomorrow, the intention is for a run before and then after work. Hubby has to go in for some minor day surgery though, so the evening session may well have to be ditched - we’ll see.

Happy Janathoning fellow Janathoners.

Getting down to it - day 2

Today is a spin class day. I do these classes three times a week. For me, it provides a way to get fitter while being pushed by the pushy instructor and some cross training. I think that to run any sort of distance every day would be a path to disaster for me. A combination of age and the kind of running gait that maybe shouldn’t be even attempting to run at all, would be a sure way to bringing me to a painful halt with injury. How do I know this? Well, been there and done it - on more than one occasion believe me!

So, a blast on the indoor bikes and just 15 minutes on the treadmill today. This will be repeated (well, that’s the intention) on Wednesdays and Fridays.

So far so good - although I have some background niggles that may be as much to do with the rubbish I’ve eaten and drunk over the past couple of weeks. I’m having some treatment tomorrow, hopefully nipping things in the bud.

here we go again - Janathon

........and it starts with an injury!!! Don’t know how, I did my long run yesterday, 10 and a bit miles. I got wetter than if I’d gone for a swim, but nevertheless enjoyed it. I had my usual soak in the bath and sat surfing and messing around on the computer. When I went to get up, my right ITB shouted at me - loudly and painfully!!!

It had eased off a little by this afternoon so, not to be beaten went out for a short “recovery” run. It was slow, it was painful, but 2 and a quarter miles banked. I had intended running every day during January, but that now may not be possible, so like last year, I’ll be cycling and swimming on the cross training days.

Janathon is a challenge that really helps me to just get out there and get on with  it, no excuses, I don’t want to be reporting a no show day. However, VLM is rather more important. My last marathon was something of a disaster, I finished, but at a price. It took months to recover, in fact, it was last January that I really started to do some exercise in a structured way. So this year, I have a dragon to slay in that there London place.